Nothing Would Ever Be The Same
by cordeliaflowers
Summary: Written after S3/E7 of Anne With An E aired in Canada; set after Anne and Gilbert's year at Queen's Academy. In a moment of great sadness, Gilbert comes to know his heart and confesses his love.


He'd missed them dearly, his ladies. The elegant yet feisty bees who called Blythe farm their home. Bash had been kind enough to tend to them during Gilbert's year at Queen's Academy, but summer break had afforded a reunion that was surprisingly heartfelt for the strapping 19 year old. He was almost giddy at the sight of them, humming and whispering affectionate encouragement as they went about their business.

Gilbert's year of full-time studies had been very rewarding, at least in some respects. He'd received top marks in all of his classes, and walked away with the prestigious gold medal. Furthermore, a visiting lecturer from the University of Toronto had facilitated an introduction to an important medical researcher with whom Gilbert had been enjoying a very stimulating correspondance on the subject of diabetes and the internal secretion of the pancreas. He'd set his sights on medical school years earlier and that dream was becoming a reality.

But in other regards, Gilbert's year had been altogether static. His friendship with Winnifred had continued with the two of them meeting on more regular occasions due to growing proximity and kinship. Winni was wittier than anyone he'd ever met, and he delighted in her jokes and quips. It was nice having a companion for school social events and other Charlottetown diversions and Winni's modern take on the world was always a nice counterpoint to the old fuddy duddies in Avonlea. Not to mention he liked the way it felt to have a girl like her on his arm. Not because she was beautiful, although she was beautiful, but because she was a woman. And he was a man.

Gilbert and Winni's friendship had simply rolled along for most of the year in that same spirit. Light but not fake. Airy but not foundationless. Fun but not frivolous. Enjoyable. Comfortable. But something had changed this past May, or maybe it was a couple of things. Winni's parents had decided to relocate back to London, England where Winni had lived the first thirteen years of her life. Winni had to choose between returning with them or staying put and she'd decided to stay put which wasn't a small thing. There was also that incident with Anne and the suffragette march. Something about that fateful afternoon seemed to have stuck with Winni. It was that same day that Gilbert had first sensed her watchful eye, and now it felt as though she was always watching him, trying to figure him out.

Lastly, and this was the one he was having the hardest time forming into a complete thought, but he felt tired all the time, exhausted from living in a kind-of in between place. He could sense that Winni was ready for a marriage proposal, and confident that she would make an excellent life partner. He also knew that making her wait for much longer was wrong, and he was disappointed in himself for his lack of action. She deserved his resolve but he hadn't been able to summon it just yet. Hopefully soon.

Gilbert gently scraped the honey from the hive into the mason jar he'd brought along. He'd harvest the lot of it later and take it to market, but this was for him.

He hoped that some time at home before his big move to Toronto in August would bring the clarity he so desired. He'd missed Bash and Delphine something serious, and anticipated that they would provide the sounding board he needed to work though this most important decision and settle things once and for all. An introvert in many regards, Gilbert wasn't always comfortable sharing his true feelings. He'd opened up to Bash in the past, he was family after all, and in some of his most difficult moments he'd shown himself to Anne. He figured she was probably his best friend. She'd said the same thing to him at the hospital that difficult day in May. Dianna was Anne's kindred spirit, but Gilbert was her best friend, that's what she said. Or Gil as she called him now, as all of his college chums did.

Gilbert made his way along the path back to the Blythe homestead and in through the front door, pulling open the curtains in the front hall to let the light in. He put on the kettle for tea and grabbed a scone from bread box, placing it gently on an old sucer his mother had particularly liked. Funny, he hadn't thought of his mother in ages. He missed his father every day in very real and tactile ways, but his mother was such a distant memory she appeared only very rarely. Only when it really mattered Curious.

He sat in the quiet for a moment and then opened the lid to the mason jar, scooping out a teaspoon of fresh honey and drizzling it on one half of the scone. He took a deep breath and slowly opened his mouth to take a bite when the front door crashed open and Bash appeared, out of breath as though he'd been running for some distance. He had a grave and sullen look on his face, and could hardly form the words.

"Bash! What is it? What's wrong?," asked Gilbert.

"It's Matthew."

"What about Matthew?"

"I'm so sorry, Gilbert. I've just heard in town that Matthew's had a heart attack. He's dead." Bash covered his face with his hands for a moment, too afraid to look at his friend and brother who'd lost so many people already. They both had.

"What? How do you know?" Gilbert demanded.

"The folks in town saw Jerry drive by in the Cuthbert's buggy. He told them he was going for the doctor but just to be sure. Jerry said … well he said … he said that it was already too late."

It was at that moment that he knew. Gilbert knew that he was in love with Anne. He had always been and would always be in love with Anne. He knew he needed to be with her, to share in the darkness and despair of this moment with her, by her side.

He stood up so quickly from the kitchen table that he knocked over his chair. Not hesitating for even a moment, he raced past Bash and out the door. He turned for a split second before hopping on his horse, worried that he'd neglected his friend who would also most likely be hurting at the news of a dear friend's passing.

"Go, brother. Find her!," said Bash with a knowingness and a seriousness that was almost startling to Gilbert. Had Bash known all along?

Gilbert ripped through the fields and past the fence to Green Gables with a furry, his heart pounding. He tied up his horse and approached the front door with resolve, his decision made. Mrs. Rachel Lynde appeared before he had a chance to knock, her cheeks stained with tears.

"Gilbert. I'm glad you've come. Yes, it's true and no, Anne is not here," said Rachel.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Lynde. Please extend my condolences to Miss Cuthbert and do let me know if there is anything at all that I can do," Gilbert said calmly.

"I know a firey redhead with a heart that's been shattered to smithereens who could use a friend right now," she said in a way that suggested an order.

"Do you know where I can find her, ma'am?"

"I'm not sure, but I think I saw her run in that direction. You know Anne, she disappears for hours at a time and comes back covered in leaves and flowers and smelling of the trees. She could be anywhere!," said Rachel flustered.

"I think I know where to find her," said Gilbert. He nodded and took off on foot.

While he couldn't be entirely sure, he suspected he would find her sitting at the edge of the Lake of Shining Waters. There was this one particular spot where they'd come sometimes to talk the previous summer, arguing just as much as they agreed as always. He knew Anne loved to sit on that rock and look out at the water, wondering what mother nature and God and fate would have in store for her, imagining what her future would hold.

He saw her from a distance. She was always unmistakable. She was sitting, curled up in a little ball and hugging her knees. She was crying, not in a delicate and lady-like way but loudly with her chest heaving and all sorts of strange wails and snorts escaping from her face. She was so noisy, in fact, that she didn't hear him coming.

He walked up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. She turned, startled, and looked up at him. It is hard to say whether he took her in his arms or she leapt, but it was only seconds before the two were wrapped in an intense embrace. And there they stayed for what felt like hours. When they pulled apart, only by an inch or so, Gilbert lifted his hand and brushed the hair off of Anne's face.

They locked eyes. "I love you," said Gilbert in a whisper. In that moment, Anne knew that nothing would ever be the same.


End file.
